FUBAR
by angelmariecloud
Summary: What can possibly go wrong when the crew of the Enterprise meets TF141? Disclaimer:I don't own either of the entities used in this, and this is just for fun.
1. Chapter 1

Why Me?

Jim Kirk was annoyed. They'd been dragged into a time warp which left them in the year 2016. There was a war going on in the United States but that isn't what caught their attention, it was the two helicopters that left from the same base and headed for different locations. One to Russia the other to Afganistan.

"Keep track on both of those groups." He said. It was several hours before they landed and they tapped into their communications.

"Sniper team ready." Came a calm voice.

They heard the fire fight that resulted them storming the house.

"Roach, go downstairs with Scarecrow and clear it out."

"Yes sir!"

There was the sounds of more firefighting and then the one named Scarecrow told them about a gun stash. Roach was then ordered to clear the top floor.

"Beam us down." Jim said, he was curious to see what these men looked like. Spock and Bones reluctantly decided to go with him, in case something went wrong. They beamed down sometime after the men gathered the files from the computer. They were escaping when a mortar hit near one of them, sending him flying. He landed with a dull thud, and Bones knew he'd broken several bones.

The man with the skull balcava leaned over the other man, after having scream "Roach!" He began to pull the injured man along. He yelled encouragements to the badly wounded man. Bones knew that if he didn't see a doctor soon, he'd die. They watched as he dragged his comrade through what little remained of the wooded area and threw a red smoke grenade, calling for assistance. Bones bit his lip in concern, the one named Roach was weaving in and out of awareness, he needed help.

"Come on, we're almost there!" Came the shout. He dragged the other back to his feet as a helicopter landed a few feet away. An older looking man approached them.

"Do you have the DSM?" He asked.

"We've got it sir!"

"Good, that's one less loose end."

The three of them jumped at the sound loud crack that filled the air and watched in horror as Roach fell to the floor, bleeding from a gunshot wound to the abdomine. Bones glanced at Jim to see what he was thinking. The look in his eyes said it all, he was going to help these men.

"No!" The other shouted in horror before he too was gunned down.

Roach was making an attempt to speak, and then to fight off his superior's hands as he searched him but for nothing as he pulled away with a grin. Then waved his men forward. Spock understood what was about to happen before the others. He raced closer.

"They are planning to burn the other two alive!" He said. He needed to stop them before they did, how could humans be capable of such cruelty?

"Scotty, five to beam up, two injured." Jim said into his communicator as they got closer.

**AN: This is kinda weird for me to be writing this cross-over. But it's been stuck in my head for several days now. Review please."**


	2. Chapter 2

Doctor McCoy

Bones was relieved that both of the men were recovering. The one named Roach had a concussion, but that seemed to be an older injury. The other one was awake and asking for his friend.

"Where's Roach?" He asked.

"He's in another room. He has a concussion and he needs his rest."

"I have to see him."

"Not now! You're recovering too."

"Then tell me if he's awake. And tell him I'm all right."

"Damn it man, I'm a doctor not a messenger!"

Ghost was bored to death. He hadn't been allowed to see Roach since they'd nearly died. The grouchy doctor had put some kind of voodoo on him to make him immobile. He couldn't even see Roach so it worried him.

"He's all right." The kind nurse said. "We picked up a few more friends of yours, one looked like he'd been stabbed, another was beaten but the other two are fine." She said, sitting beside him. He's awake and the doctor is confident he'll be on his feet very soon."

"Who did they find?" Ghost asked.

"Two men, who had been where we found you and the other two, one had a Mohawk and the other was older."

Ghost allowed himself to relax, Archer and Toad were fine, and Roach was recovering nicely.

"Will I be allowed to see Roach?"

"Is his name really Roach?" She asked.

"No, it's his call sign. Sometimes, I forget to refer to him as his real name, which is Gary."

"I'll ask Dr. McCoy. But I can't promise anything…?"

"Simon."

"Simon. You get your rest and I'll be in to check on you later by then I should have an answer."

Simon was satisfied with that, for now. The cankerous doctor appeared a few minutes later.

"Nurse Chapel says you want to see your friend."

"I need to confirm with my own eyes that he's well. He's very important to me, a little brother to me."

"Are you two related?"

"No, he's my subordinate, and it's still my job to take care of him."

"Ten minutes, and if you take any longer than that, I'll knock you out for a month."

Whatever force field had been holding Simon was released and he was allowed to sit up. He followed McCoy to where Roach was.

"Thank heavens," Simon said. Roach was conscious and smiled at his XO.

"Hi, where are we?"

"I don't know but at least we're safe for now."

Gary nodded.

"The others?"

"Archer and Toad made it out okay. Price and MacTavish are all right too."

"Scarecrow?"

"He didn't make it."

"His mother is gonna kill me."

"You met his mum?"

Gary smiled again.

"I didn't have anywhere to go for leave so he dragged me with him. His mother was different. Made me promise to look out for him. Ozone didn't make it either. In the safe house…I tried to help him…"

"There wasn't very much you could have done for him. You need your rest Roach."

"You should take your own advice, you don't look so good."

"I'm recovering better than you are at the moment. And besides, that's the pot calling the kettle black."

"So which one are you?"

Simon ruffled Gary's hair, much to his annoyance.

"Enough talking lad. The doctor here just gave me a few minutes to see you and then we both need to be resting. You were hurt before that bastard tried to kill us."

"I think I remember some of that, it's a little fuzzy but I could have sworn I saw a man with pointed ears. Might have been a hallucination, shock and whatnot."

"Alright, times up, get back into bed and both of you get rest."

Gary watched Chapel lead Simon out of the room. McCoy stayed to look over him.

"Are you in any pain?" He asked.

"A little but it's nothing I haven't experienced before."

"Why did he call you Roach?"

"It's my nickname. Hey, it fits." Gary replied. "All the near deaths I've experienced and I'm still alive and kickin. But my real name is Gary Sanderson."

McCoy nodded.

"Leonard McCoy."

"You're a doctor and a really good one if I'm not mistaken. I expected to be in agony when I woke up but it doesn't hurt all that much. Kinda like being socked in the stomach by Meat."

"Do you always ramble on kid?"

"Sorry. I only do it when I'm nervous" Gary confessed. 'Dude, no need to be mean! Not even Doc was ever this annoyed with me.'


	3. Chapter 3

What Now?

Gary found out from Nurse Chapel, after some mild flirting that they had been on the _Enterprise_ a grand total of a week. Simon shook his head in disgust at him.

"You always have to hit on a bird. Do you ever tire of it?"

"Hey, I'm still young, old man."

"Watch who you call old, dummy." Price joined the conversation with. Gary rolled his eyes at Price; he wasn't all too intimidated by the man. Price glared daggers at Gary. Gary looked around Sickbay for the hundredth time; it was spacious and brightly lit. There were other beds in the main area of the room, where they were now, the other parts had more private exam rooms, not that Gary was keen on entering there with the rather crabby Doctor McCoy.

Simon thought it was hilarious that Gary was terrified of the doctor. No-one wanted to admit that seeing Spock for the first time was _interesting_. Captain Kirk seemed to be a straightforward and good leader. Gary could see how his crew would follow him to the end of the universe. They hadn't been allowed to leave Sickbay since their arrival.

"So, I'm going ask the pretty nurse to lunch."

"She's gonna say no." Toad said.

"Hush you. I think I have a chance."

"Gary, she's a whole lot smarter than you, trust me when I say, she's out of your league."

Gary sputtered. Captain Kirk entered the room.

"You've been assigned to quarters until we reach earth."

"Have we been away from earth all this time?" Soap asked. "No one is willing to answer and I cannae tell my men to just sit still for too long. We're soldier Captain Kirk, we don't belong in space."

Kirk seemed to consider this.

"Earth is peaceful now." He said. "You and you're men are out of work. There's no work for soldiers."

"What about my men?" Soap asked. He wasn't about to let their talents go to waste.

"We'll figure that out when we return to Earth."

Soap got the feeling that they weren't being told everything. He didn't like it at all, especially after what had happened with Sheppard.

"How long have we been away from earth?" Gary asked.

"A short time. We should be arriving back to earth in two days."

After they settled into their temporary living quarters, Gary hunted down Nurse Chapel. She was just getting off of her shift.

"So, Nurse Chapel," Gary began, using all his charm, leaning against the wall.

"Christine." She corrected with a giggle.

"Christine, would you like to have lunch with me?"

She smiled and nodded.

"I'm just finishing with my shift, would you like to go now?"

"Yes, Christine, I'd like to." They talked the entire way to the mess hall. The room was spacious and well light with tables spread throughout the room with a few on one side. The remaining members of the one-four-one were shocked.

"There'll be no living with him from now on." Archer said, as they watched Gary pull out the chair for Christine.

"He's chatting her up rather well. Where did he learn that?"

Soap grinned sheepishly.

"He asked about girls and I told him how to charm them. He's shy Simon; he deserves to get it in while he can; besides Nurse Chapel is pretty."

"I doubt she's gonna have sex with him after one lunch date."

Across the room, Gary was chatting with Christine.

"So you have a boyfriend." He said, she nodded. "You must really miss him. Look, I'm not looking to date you Christine, I'm really just trying to be friends with you, you're approachable and you can help me make sense of what happened to us. Can you imagine what it's like? I'm in a different time period from what I last remember."

"Have you spoken to Dr. McCoy?"

"Are you crazy? The man is so, cantankerous and mean."

Christine giggled.

"You know, you shouldn't have too much trouble with girls. You have that cute thing going for you."

"It's hard for me to talk to girls, Christine.""

"You're talking to me. Hold on, hey Nyota, join us!"

"She's a linguist right?"

"Yeah."

"Cool. I never met anyone who could speak a lot of languages."

Uhura joined them at the table.

"Nyota, this is Gary. Gary this is Nyota."

"It's a pleasure to meet you Miss."

"Likewise. Is he a salacious flirt?"

"No, he's kinda shy actually."

"He's also still at the table." Gary said.

Uhura and Chapel laughed.

"I'm outnumbered."

**AN: It's hard to describe the ship that you don't see a lot of from the series or the movie. They don't show very much…. Trust me, I've been watching both for days on end without much results. Any suggestions anyone?**


End file.
